Soul Mates

 I believe in soulmates. That person who was made for you to live with in peace and tranquility, that person that helps you elevate to the highest spiritual ranks. That mate that you knew even before you were put on this earth. And when you think of them you feel a familiarity, a connection, a type of love that makes you want to be with them, forever.

  Finding this person is not easy. You might go through the most difficult time finding such a person. You may go through momments of sadness and emptiness trying to find the one. But when you find them, and you see they're a decent person and have good character and deen, then do not let go. Its rare to find them. Its rare to find the sincere, God-loving ones that appreciate love and beauty. Especially the young ones, who happen to be attractive too. They are like a diamond in the dust, a rare jewel, a precious stone. Their rarity makes them even more apealing. And ofcourse, it may be difficult to have them, the way the rare things are hard to come across and attain. But isnt their value worth the pain and suffering you may go through in order to reach them?

   Barriers will get in the way. It may be family. It may be cultural issues. It may be finances. It may be difference in opinion in living conditions. And this is what I say. I say if you feel the man or woman is your true soulmate and you feel a special love for them and a special connection, then place your trust in Allah and do your best to marry them. Dont let barriers stop you from making dua to Allah to unite the both you. Dont let those small issues be a reason why you cant get married.

  Don't let the culture difference stop you from seeking Allah's help. If you have disagreement with living conditions, and she doesnt want to live with your parents, dont let this stop you from marrying her if you see she is good woman.

  And dont get me wrong. When couples first get married, there may be financial issues any many difference of opinion. You may want her to live with your parents because you want to remain connected to your parents and take care of them. And she may not want to live with your parents. Its okay. This is totally understandable. But Respect her wishes. But dont let this get in the way of your plans to get married. Circumstances may change.
 
    You should know, by the way, that a woman can only feel comfortable in a home of her own, where she can do whatever she pleases without restraint or judgement. She wants to be  your queen and the queen of your home, that is her inner desire, to dress and act as she wishes.

   If this sense of freedom and privacy is not given to her, where else can she feel free? There is no other place. Outside she must cover and observe her behavior. In her parents home, she is under the authority of her parents. If she lives with the in-laws, she'll just be another subject of supervision, and she'll just be another dughter in the eyes of the husbands parents. But when she gets married, not only is she looking for a loving husband, but a home she can call her own. A home she can have some governance over. A home where she can dress up so beautifully in a manner that only her husband can see her, and no one else. A home where she can entertain her husband in a way that no one else can see but her husband only. A home where she can dazzle her husband with her charms in a manner not befitting for anyone else other than her husband. If she is living with her in laws she will never be able to find the confidence and security to be her true self, and to express her love freely.

     What joy is there in a marriage where the woman will feel restricted as to what she wears and does? She wants freedom. She wants to be that drop dead gorgeous princess for her husband. Sure, her husbands father will be like a father to her, but does that make her comfortable to be seen decked out? Even though its totally acceptable to display her beauty to her husband's father. But she may not be comfortable with that. And what if the husband has brothers? Will she have to wear the body cover at home too? Why, that would be fun at all!

The woman wants freedom in her daily schedules. To cook what she wants, at the time she feels best, not on the schedule and tastes of anyone else other than her husband. She wants to be the Queen of her home. Is it too much to ask?
 
 Its a wonderful thing to have someone who cares about his parents, who wants to take care of them and be in a near proximity to them. Its a beautiful thing and we need more people who have loving hearts like this.

  There are ways one can take care of  their parents and be near them without putting someone else in difficulty. One can find a home near to one's parents home so they can come visit him and his wife whenever they feel. And one can visit his parents whenever he wishes to without difficulty. That way both parties are happy. The woman has her own home with her husband with all the privacy and space she needs. And the husband is in close proximity to his family.

   In the eyes of a woman, her husband is a family to her. And he's all she needs. To her, he can be her whole world, her happiness or her gloom. No one else is like a husband to her, because no one else can satisfy her needs the way he can.