Relationship Problems
Bismillaah
I've been thinking lately. About men and and their emotional needs. And I've come to realize that being desired is one of their top main emotional needs. Interesting actually. They want to be wanted. Not needed necessarily but wanted, found attractive. How many times have you heard a guy say, "She likes me bro..." As if they've accomplished something, and they have kinda. They want to feel and know that their woman find them appealing.
But this is where the problem starts. In marriages. How often will a man feel desired by his wife? How often will a wife tell her husband how much she finds him handsome? Men need to hear this from their wives, they need this attention, or validation or whatever its called. And the sad thing is, they don't get it. But they do get it from other women, women that could possibly be threat to their happiness at home.
And its understandable. But at the same time, a really big, big problem. Because not only are the husbands not feeling they're attractive, their advances to their wives are rejected sometimes!! How hurtful is that? So not only does she not make you feel like man, but she also rejects your attempts to share intimacy with her. Now if thats not a blow, then I don't know what is. Imagine what that does to his self-esteem. And then you want him to be a man. I mean his own woman doesn't want him. Can you blame him when you find him in extramaritial relationships? (Im not supporting this bey the way, thats another problem to be fixed) They guy just wants to feel like a man, and his women aren't letting him feel like one.
Funny how women want their men to man up, but their not giving him the opportunity to. I honestly think there's a type of confusion out there in the world nowadays. Women are confusing themselves trying to act like men. And sadly men are doing the same thing too. Perhaps if we just remembered who we were exactly, our roles and responsibilities would fall into place.
Women, please learn what it means to be feminine. And men, for God's Sake, please study what it means to be masculine. Femininity attracts masculinity. You want her to find you attractive? Be a man. Be confident, dont be shaky in your self-esteem. Women, you want him to die from pleasure? Be a woman. Dont fool yourselves into thinking what the media has to offer is true. Its not, infact its a little backwards. I could go on and on. But the system these days is whack. Its almost like they dont want a healthy family structure to exist.
How can a man come home happy to see his wife when he was just snapchatting a woman more prettier than her? He obviously wont be satisfied with his wife at home now. And for a woman who spends her time watching soap operas and movies with the finest of male actors, will she be happy when her husband comes to her? No, she'll probably be thinking, "How did I get stuck with him?" And thats because now her expectation have risen, and she's comparing him with these actors. And thats not fair at all. See how media ruins relationships? Neither will be happy with each other, because apparently its greener on the other side. Which its not by the way. Its just an illusion.
I honestly think that if we took the advices of our beloved Nabi (saw) and lowered our gazes and gaurded our modesty and did every good thing and avoided every bad thing to be avoided we wouldn't be finding ourselves in this mess of society today. And we're only in big trouble because we decided to do things our way, for own pleasure, regardless of its consequences on us and society.
We all have emotional needs, and want them fulfilled. But there's the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it. Choose the right way as painful as it is, and remember, your actions not only affect you, but they also affect society at large. Even when you think nobody's watching you.
And for the women that reject their husbands advances, there's obviously things that need to be talked about between the two of you. Communication is key. And women are famous for bottling up their emotions...and this probably from all the pain you've been causing her, whether its disrespecting, ignoring, emotionally abusing and all other kinds of stuff men do. So be gentle with her. She's more fragile than glass, if you treat with kindness and love, and make her feel like the most beautiful women in the world, she wont reject you. In fact, she'll probably be initiating things more often.
Relationships are difficult, but the rewards are so worth it in the end.
I've been thinking lately. About men and and their emotional needs. And I've come to realize that being desired is one of their top main emotional needs. Interesting actually. They want to be wanted. Not needed necessarily but wanted, found attractive. How many times have you heard a guy say, "She likes me bro..." As if they've accomplished something, and they have kinda. They want to feel and know that their woman find them appealing.
But this is where the problem starts. In marriages. How often will a man feel desired by his wife? How often will a wife tell her husband how much she finds him handsome? Men need to hear this from their wives, they need this attention, or validation or whatever its called. And the sad thing is, they don't get it. But they do get it from other women, women that could possibly be threat to their happiness at home.
And its understandable. But at the same time, a really big, big problem. Because not only are the husbands not feeling they're attractive, their advances to their wives are rejected sometimes!! How hurtful is that? So not only does she not make you feel like man, but she also rejects your attempts to share intimacy with her. Now if thats not a blow, then I don't know what is. Imagine what that does to his self-esteem. And then you want him to be a man. I mean his own woman doesn't want him. Can you blame him when you find him in extramaritial relationships? (Im not supporting this bey the way, thats another problem to be fixed) They guy just wants to feel like a man, and his women aren't letting him feel like one.
Funny how women want their men to man up, but their not giving him the opportunity to. I honestly think there's a type of confusion out there in the world nowadays. Women are confusing themselves trying to act like men. And sadly men are doing the same thing too. Perhaps if we just remembered who we were exactly, our roles and responsibilities would fall into place.
Women, please learn what it means to be feminine. And men, for God's Sake, please study what it means to be masculine. Femininity attracts masculinity. You want her to find you attractive? Be a man. Be confident, dont be shaky in your self-esteem. Women, you want him to die from pleasure? Be a woman. Dont fool yourselves into thinking what the media has to offer is true. Its not, infact its a little backwards. I could go on and on. But the system these days is whack. Its almost like they dont want a healthy family structure to exist.
How can a man come home happy to see his wife when he was just snapchatting a woman more prettier than her? He obviously wont be satisfied with his wife at home now. And for a woman who spends her time watching soap operas and movies with the finest of male actors, will she be happy when her husband comes to her? No, she'll probably be thinking, "How did I get stuck with him?" And thats because now her expectation have risen, and she's comparing him with these actors. And thats not fair at all. See how media ruins relationships? Neither will be happy with each other, because apparently its greener on the other side. Which its not by the way. Its just an illusion.
I honestly think that if we took the advices of our beloved Nabi (saw) and lowered our gazes and gaurded our modesty and did every good thing and avoided every bad thing to be avoided we wouldn't be finding ourselves in this mess of society today. And we're only in big trouble because we decided to do things our way, for own pleasure, regardless of its consequences on us and society.
We all have emotional needs, and want them fulfilled. But there's the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it. Choose the right way as painful as it is, and remember, your actions not only affect you, but they also affect society at large. Even when you think nobody's watching you.
And for the women that reject their husbands advances, there's obviously things that need to be talked about between the two of you. Communication is key. And women are famous for bottling up their emotions...and this probably from all the pain you've been causing her, whether its disrespecting, ignoring, emotionally abusing and all other kinds of stuff men do. So be gentle with her. She's more fragile than glass, if you treat with kindness and love, and make her feel like the most beautiful women in the world, she wont reject you. In fact, she'll probably be initiating things more often.
Relationships are difficult, but the rewards are so worth it in the end.
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