Mirror

It's amazing what love can do for a person’s well being and growth. It's like a fundamental thing for healthy functioning relationships. Even as children, we wouldn't have grown up to be healthy individuals if it wasn't for the love and nurturing we had when we were younger from our parents. I don't think anything's different now when we get older. We still need  to feel loved in our everyday lives. Those small things. Knowing that someone cares for us, that were still remembered, that we are thought well of, that we're respected and appreciated.

Normally we don't express these needs when we get older because it can be awkward. It's awkward to tell someone that we're upset because they didn't think of us, or remember us. Especially because it's something we want so badly. They say emotional vulnerability is what makes relationships thrive. But the problem is that most of us do not want to become to expressive of our thoughts, feelings, desire. It's too painful. Even to the people we love most.  We shut ourselves off, pretending not to feel.

Do you know how good it feels to know how much someone needs you in their life? How good it feels to know someone actually wants you and loves you? We all want to hear these things. Everyday. We want to hear phrases like, " I missed you." or "I need you" and "I'm sorry" These simple phrases all show a kind of vulnerability and need, but that's what hearts respond to and crave for. Emotional vulnerability, to have someone be open with us, transparent, raw.

Knowing that you have an affect on your loved one is important, we all want to leave a mark, to have a positive effect, especially on those we love. That our existence is acknowledged. We want to be a significant part of their life, and we want to play a significant part in their life. But the question is "who is gonna risk possible rejection in showing such vulnerability?" I'm not gonna lie. It takes guts and a ton of practise too. I mean have you ever looked at someone you really loved and told them, "I love you" Just like out of nowhere and all random? It's awkward right? So strange. Haha because you know they're gonna start asking all these questions like, 'why, what’s wrong, what's gotten into you, is everything okay?' Or just look at you weird because they're just not use to it. It's just not a common thing to be so upfront with our feelings. It's a kind of awkwardness we're not used to. So we just avoid it.

And some people are actually not into showing this kinda "gushy mushy" stuff. Whatever works for you and your beloved. But if your loved one is the kinda person that needs these things to be said, then, if you want your relationship to last, you’re gonna have to start adding a few new phrases into your vocabulary. Ladies keep count of a lot by the way. So good luck :)

And it's amazing how the small things uplift our mood and spirit. It’s the small gestures of kindness that take up the greatest space in our hearts. But these small things are neglected by many but desperately needed. Deep inside of us, there is a child still desiring to be loved and accepted. No matter how much we grow, if you get deep inside a person’s heart, you'll see that. Just look at the close intimate relationships between lovers. The smallest things can disturb the peace. Someone didn't remember a certain date. Someone didn't show enthusiasm when it was expected. Someone didn't get a text they were waiting for in a timely manner. All these expectations that exist between two hearts that love each other are natural. We think so highly of our loved ones, and only wish they would think highly of us too and to show it. We think much about our loved ones, and wish they too could think of us just as much, and even more. We place such high expectation from them because we hold them in such high esteem. And the trouble begins when we realise that they maybe they're not mirroring the same love we had for them.

All we want is reciprocation. To know that we mean something to them as well. That we are important to them. Because in our minds we're always doubting, and wondering 'do they really love me too..?' Perhaps this comes from an insecurity of not truly feeling that we are worthy of love. So we seek signs of their love for us, everywhere, all the time. We ask ourselves in our mind daily, "Did they write back, with a lengthy, in depth text? Did they text back quickly? Okay, no they didn't. They're probably ignoring me because I'm not *important* to them.." Did they even remember me at all today?' Then the resentment begins. This personal dialogue is more common than you think. Expression of love must be shown even more to these ones. Because of their greater need for it. Everyone has a weakness, a broken spot in their heart that they wish to fill. If a person wants their relationship to flourish they have to be aware of their partner's emotional states.

Some people are not comfortable with too much affection. Perhaps their way of feeling loved and showing love is through action, like showing acts of service. So with these they may be lacking in with the verbal expression of love but heavy with the acts of service. Everyone is different. Some feel that if they see and perform actions then that's love. Some people feel if they hear and express words of love, then that's love.

At the end of the day, we just want someone that can understand these things about us and have the desire to cater to our needs just as much as we would love to cater to their needs. Be like a mirror for one another. When one feels elated and excited, share it with them and show the same feelings of elation. When one is sad, let the other mirror the same sadness. Be like the hand of each other that wipes away the tears and sadness bringing comfort. Be as if you have one heart, and if you don't, you can always play pretend. :)

Much love x

Enjoy your day :)