Rishta?
I think one of the reasons I'm single still is because I'm so bloody picky and unreasonable to deal with. For real. I'm a handful. Even for myself, I can’t imagine dragging somebody else down to come join me too. Future husband, I apologize in advance.
But I guess since we’re on the subject I’ll tell you why it’s hard for me to find the right one. And what I would personally prefer. And maybe we can sneak some pet peeves in there.
I can’t cook too well. So all these men who been catered to for years by their families are completely out of the picture for sure lol. I personally hate being in the kitchen other than to eat or warm up some shah or coffee. And honestly. I would much rather be baking than cooking so if you’re looking for sweets rather than a properly prepared meal, I’m your girl. :)
I’m not a morning person, I don’t think I’ll ever be to be honest and I love my sleep more than I love most people. So all of these expectations of waking up to a beautifully prepared breakfast is probably not gonna happen haha.
I don’t really talk much to be honest for real. I been told I'm not the best conversationalist and it’s true. Most of the time I just wanna be left alone. Unless you have some funny stuff to share, then by all means I’m down for laughs. Always. But the whole, ‘Hi, how are you’ type convo is not gonna happen on a daily basis. But I can be pretty entertaining tho I’m not gonna lie. I like expressing my thoughts through art to be honest. Like I’d be the type that would write you a song than have a full blown out in depth convo with you. I’d try to make something out of my thoughts. I’m not that articulate. So if you’re into the wacky artsy stuff I’m also your girl.
I’m actually super annoying at times, pretending to play dumb so someone can take the lead and take care of everything. I’m bad at directions. So uhh..I get lost pretty easy. Being second eldest I been taking lead most of my life, but I'm actually kinda getting tired of it and want someone to take it all. Just show me the way, I'm right behind you lol :)
I know the religious ones don’t get much attention much I do appreciate them. It’s all the boys out there doin bad things that apparently are ‘getting all the girls’ true. But none of these things last long anyways. There’s no blessing in these relationships. They fade and die usually and it’s just on to the next one. I like the modest pious ones and I think deep down we all want someone like that, well, because it’s these ones we know we can trust and never have to worry about. And on top of that these types would make for a longer lasting relationship.
And I like the shy ones too. They seem to have more depth even tho they’re probably the socially awkward ones that don’t know what to say when you meet them. I love shyness. And I love modesty. You have the guys that know they’re good looking and show it off at any possible opportunity lol. And then you got the shy ones that even though they know they got the goods they keep it on the down low. Which is awesome. God bless you !
Another thing I look out for someone is too see if they are a content kinda person. I love seeing this in someone, that regardless of what they have to start with, they still move forward. A lot of us feel like if we don’t have the right people, equipment, enough money, etc...we are not ‘good enough’ to do start whatever we wanna start. (Shout out to Alif Theory. I been obsessing over this brand for a while now, and I love their mission statement for reals.) Or some will place their own self value on material things. So when things are good, they’re happy, and when things aren't going good materialistically they fall apart emotionally and mentally. I want contentment in a man because I know marriage is not gonna be an easy thing, there’s gonna be the ups and downs and things that will shake the strength of the marriage at times. And if you’re there to gain something from it, what will happen to your loyalty when things aren’t going the way you expected? Or you gonna walk out seeking the ‘next best thing’?
That brings me to another pet peeve of mine. The kinds of men that have this false sense of ‘entitlement’ That the woman is there soley for their pleasure and their beck and call and that all is to serve him. Like what on earth. Some men think that the ayah in the Qur’an about men being ‘qawaam’ means that he's the man and he is the superior one. First of all. This ayah is referring to the fact that men should be ones PROTECTING the woman. In every way. It’s his responsibility to take care of her. Now that you have the nikkah and the responsibility from her father of taking care of her, it is now your responsibility. Because that’s what the marriage contract is lol. The transfer of resposibility. He should be the one to maintain her, feed her, clothe her, satisfy her needs. Where did this whole notion of superiority come from? And because of this, because of the fact that he is her main provider, she should respect him. For crying out loud, the whole, ‘i expect you to cook and clean and pamper me’ nonsense is based on tradition. Not the religion. None of these are obligations on the woman. The women would do this for their husbands out of love, a type of kindness. And she will get rewarded for this by Allah iA. The woman actually only has two things she’s gotta do for him. Be ready for him when he wants her and to stay in his home. Feminists I really don’t care what you have to stay. The best place for a woman to be is her home so @ me. Of course, she can leave the home with his permission, but he’s the boss now that you’re married. Ya’ll work out what works for you both.
So anyways, the whole entitlement thing. Boiii, you can cook your own meals and wash your own clothes, iron your own clothes. And of course anything your wife does of this nature is out pure kindness so don’t you dare be expecting this lol. See this is why I wont be getting married anytime soon. What man can actually do this for himself tho. Show me, come. I wanna see you. I can barely take care of my own self sometimes haha so yeah.
But the grateful ones. Man, I love those. Wish I could see more of that. One thing that I love, is someone that is expressive. That gives feedback, lemme know how you feel about things. People that hold on to things and bottle up negative thoughts and emotions really bug me. Because they explode out of nowhere. Like wow, I didn't know you felt that way, why didn't you tell me earlier. Why. It’s not an act of courtesy to not tell someone what is bothering them. Trust me. Share your thoughts, but in a respectful way. Don't keep them guessing. How will they ever change. If they suck at telling jokes. Don't laugh lool. Don’t give false encouragement. Yeah, being straightforward will be awkward at first but it will be helpful in the long run. You love them right? Okay, then that’s all that matters. Share you’re positive thoughts. If you like something tell me. I love feedback, its one of my weaknesses. Growing. Getting better at something ugh love.
Funny people omg. Life would be so fun marrying someone with the same humor as you. Wow. that would awesome. If you can me laugh, you’re definitely a keeper. We're gonna need the laughs after all the fights were gonna have haha :)
Anyways I think I wrote too much, but you get the point. Its not happening anytime soon.
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Share. Till then much love :)
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Such good insight. Girl, any man is lucky to have you ;) Keep up the great work! ❤
ReplyDeleteAha thank you 😂
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