Marry him or nah?

You know, I never really appreciated this one thing before. I never really appreciated the fact that the main criteria in choosing a mate should be one's taqwa. Because I didnt really fully understand its implications..

And I've learned that its not about facial features of body size at all. In the beginning obviously its about the looks you know, that's what keeps you attracted. Because if there's no attraction, quite frankly, you dont really wanna have anything to do with them, meaning in pursuing them...for marriage. But if they are attractive to you, then okay, we have a good start.


And please, let me stress the importance of remaining attractive for your husband or wife. It does matter. It really does. Especially when you have whatever is going on out there, with the actresses and models and the whatever else, you gotta keep up. You cannot allow yourself to be outdone by what they have out there, because most of time, whats out there is not real. Its pinched here, tucked there, enlarged there. And its not real. 

But you. You are real. And Im pretty sure if you began to eat right and excersize you'd be much much more attractive, you really would. Just get rid of the Ben and Jerry and hide the remote and head on over to the gym and maybe find time to take care of yourself, you know, get your hair done or buy something nice for yourself haha.. Because honestly, these celebrities are just people that a lot of people happen to know. Their fame doesn't make them any better than anyone else. But if you believe this then we have a problem. Because they're people just like you, but with a million eyes on them. And you could probably look better than some of them too haha :) have you seen some of them without makeup?!!

  So, no worries. Self-esteem is what is important here. So take care of yourself. It will keep you happy and your relationship too. Because what man doesn't like his wife to look beautiful? What woman doesn't want her husband to look and smell amazing, to be hench? Beauty has its benefits, if he's a man of Taqwa it will help him to lower his gaze. Same with the woman. They wouldnt have to look elsewhere because they already have everything they need at home.

But whats more important than looks is the persons consciousness of Allah. I mean you can have a total babe at home, 10 out of 10. But for example, if you dont have a man that has taqwa, regardless of your beauty his eyes will still be roaming and the goodness he already has wont be enough for him. See, if he proves to be unfaithful, may Allah protect us all, the fault wont be with you. It will be with him because he wasnt conscious of Allah. The fault will be found in his character.  It may have had nothing to do with the woman to begin with. And its sad when you see women feeling responsible when they find themselves in these predicaments. They think the problem was with them the whole time. Naah. They think maybe they didnt show him enough attention, they think maybe they did something wrong. Nah. And the guilt makes things worse because if he picks up on the fact that his woman feel guilty it'll only be a free ride for him because he'll feel he doesn't have the fault and yes, he may even put the blame on her and come out scot-free.

Same goes for the woman. You could be the most successful man, with dashing looks, and a brilliant personality, but if shes not a pious woman, she probably wont be a grateful either. She'll just always be nagging nagging nagging saying you didnt do this, or that, and when will you do this and that. little or no appreciation to be found, And how annoying is that! One of the qualities of a righteous woman is that shes pleased with whatever her husband does for her, even if its little. Either way, both of them will be a nightmare to live with. 

But in reality if a person isnt concious of their Lord, no matter how much you do for him, no matter how much love you show for them, if they arent aware of the rights of Lord, what makes you think they will be aware of your rights upon them. It doesnt work that way at all. And its not even about fidelity its about everything. A person of piety is different in the way he acts. In all situations compared to someone who has little or none. When the fights come, how will a person of piety react? They'll most likely show restraint. The other person will do whatever their ego pleases. If that means cursing, they'll indulge, fighting, sure why not.  Disrespecting you, ofcourse. Because to them it doesnt matter how you feel, it matters whether they felt they got the "justice" or not, meaning did their nafs feel like it got the vengeance it wanted to.

And its crazy because the taqwa of a person shapes their life through what actions they take it shapes everything. Its who they are as a person. Looks dont matter when a persons temper flares and you dont know what they're gonna do next. Looks dont matter when you've felt that they've neglected you for the past few weeks never even getting back to your texts. Looks dont matter when you see them for who they really are.


Its the character and how they handles situations and how they treats you that matters. The person of taqwa tries to do what is best, regardless of how much they hates it at the moment. They're in the habit of fighting with their nafs and biting their tongue and sacrificing the wants of their ego for the greater good. The other person woudn't care about the greater good, its a about their greater good, and what they want to do, whether its right or not. Your feelings probably wont matter too much when its up against their own whims and desires.

The value of a person who does what he can to be conscious of Allah is pretty great. His character sets him apart, a great deal. And that only makes the person more beautiful and attractive. That is whats attractive if you ask me. The way they speak and conduct themselves is beautiful. The way they work hard is admirable. The pain they hold back with patience is beautiful. The way they respect you is beautiful and the way they make you feel is beautiful.  Because it isn't about him anymore. Its about doing what Allah would be pleased with. Its a kind of selflessness which is admirable. And that's more longer lasting than looks. And if he looks handsome too, then he's definitely a keeper, may Allah only increase it for him.

I ranted too much, sorry haha. I just wanted show how much I appreciated the criteria of taqwa because its soo important for a happy long lasting marriage. May Allah increase us in wisdom and knowledge. And Allah knows best.

Night everyone.