Marriage
Bismillaah
We like the idea of marriage, don't we? Its sounds flowery, pretty, with so much hope from both the man and the woman getting married. Were filled with hopes, high expectations and what not. Women will imagine a tall, dark handsome lad who will come to their father proposing. And the man will imagine other things.
What women want out of Marriage
Typically women, when they get married are looking for someone who will take care of them..... forever. Not someone who will come, enjoy them, and then leave. No. They want financial Security. Emotional Security. Someone who will be with them from the beginning untill...untill they their lives end. They need to know they'll be in safe hands. For us women its no joke. We want the full package. I dont know what the men are thinking, but the woman is looking for someone to love her within a lawful permanent marriage. Not in a temporary one, or one thats for some travel convenience but a permanent one. We want a lawful relationship, not one that is hidden from the community like when some marry secretly. None of that. The marriage has to something both partners are pleased with and proud of, enough to let the community know.
What are Desirable Traits in a prospective Spouse
I know its sounds like a burden, but thats how we are. Women will look for someone who is strong, phsysically and emotionally. We can sense some who has an inferiority complex a mile away. So guys, if you want to be attractable, please be confident. Confident in who you are and what you can do. Do not make excuses for yourself, or defend yourself. Oh my God, this is the worst one. A defensive man. No, we dont want to see that, because then all we see is a weakness from them. The weakness of not being able to handle criticism. A real man is the one that can take the heat someone gives him. Who can withstand social rejection. One who can stand firm on his two feet, without bieng pushed side to side. One who can brush off any petty comments or critical judgements thrown at him.
In my mind, when a group of people attack a person and the victim thinks nothing of it, their status raises in my mind. But when they begin to defend themselves and find excuses or try to make the other people like and accept them, I cannot think highly of them. If there are people who are against you, you might be doing something right and worthy of doing. Remember that. But if the masses are happy with you, be careful, you might not be doing something right.
Women aren't too big in the looks department when it comes to attraction. But it all depends on what they hear. They say the way to a woman's heart is through her ears. And the way to mans heart is through his stomach. I dont know if thats true on the mans part, but I do know for a fact that a women can be swept off their two feet, with words and tone. Seriously, even if he had to be paperbagged.
So if the men want to their wives to be happy with them, say beautiful things to her, talk to her in way that would make her fall head over heels for you.
What Men Need to Work On
But it wouldn't hurt if the man took care of his appearance as well, you know? I mean we do have eyes to see with and we can at least look at something attractive in our marriage. Your the only man were permitted to see, so make us smile! Two things men need to work on, the gut and the balding head. We love hair we really do. It makes someone look attractive, very apealing. So if someone's losing their precious hair, check out if there are islamically permissible treatments for that. We all enjoy a lush head of hair. Trust me, hair is very important when it comes to looks.
For the gut, if you cant let go of those delicious meals please head to the gym. Once a week or something. Its not fair that the pressure is on women to look great. It must go both ways.
What Women Need to Work On
Women also need to work on few things too. Weight is definetly one them. Sometimes we just want to let it all go. You know? Couple of icecream jugs and were finished. They are delicious I cant lie. But we need to workout too. Hey we are gorgeous creatures, Allah put in us a beauty that is so irrisitible that it cannot go uncovered. Think about that for one.This beauty is gift and a responsibility. Protect it from anyone else other than your husband. Yeah your family sees you, but that privately beuatiful part of you is for no one but him. Doesnt he feel special :)
So girls, get dolled up. For him I mean, no one else deserves to see you like that. If you gaining weight, please excercise or go eeasy on what you eat. I dont condone dating. But there's an interesting saying. Uk people might get it. Its goes, "Whats the difference between a girlfriend and you wife..? Its 60 pounds.
Yeah, women might get so busy after getting married that they gain pounds, but try to go back to how you were before, when you enchanted him with your beauty the first time you got married.
Proposals
These are serious. They are not to played with. If someone recieves a proposal they should atleast the common courtesy to respond with an "Im interesed" or "Im not interested" via whatever method it came to them. Do not expect the proposer to wait patiently for years for your answer. No more than 4 months is acceptable. Anymore and the proposer will find someone else becuase they will take that silence from you as a "No Thanks"If you are interested let them know without being ambigious. Be straight up. There's no harm in asking a few questions, you know?
Dowry
I believe the lesser it is the more Barakah. Couple thousands isnt too bad. But if given at the begginning would better than waiting for it for years. Upfront and ready is great. I dont know if the people would accept that as a proper amount, but let them think what they want. A few thousands would work for me.
A place of Living
Mansions and fancy homes are not necessary. A one bedroom flat is great. So long as their a roof over your head and some warmth everythings great. I know Im a bit strange, but hey. Lets all take from the lifestyle of Rasullallah saw. He slept on a straw mat stuffed with palm fibres, and when he woke there would be marks on his back. Now if he didnt sleep on a Queen Sized Bed,why are we all insisisting on having these furnishing? I tell you, sleeping on the ground does more good for your back then one of them cushiony mattresses. Try it, you'll find yourself walking with such an awesome posture. The more humble one lives the better. If we follow the way of Rasulallah (saw) where on the right way.
To be continued Insha Allah
We like the idea of marriage, don't we? Its sounds flowery, pretty, with so much hope from both the man and the woman getting married. Were filled with hopes, high expectations and what not. Women will imagine a tall, dark handsome lad who will come to their father proposing. And the man will imagine other things.
What women want out of Marriage
Typically women, when they get married are looking for someone who will take care of them..... forever. Not someone who will come, enjoy them, and then leave. No. They want financial Security. Emotional Security. Someone who will be with them from the beginning untill...untill they their lives end. They need to know they'll be in safe hands. For us women its no joke. We want the full package. I dont know what the men are thinking, but the woman is looking for someone to love her within a lawful permanent marriage. Not in a temporary one, or one thats for some travel convenience but a permanent one. We want a lawful relationship, not one that is hidden from the community like when some marry secretly. None of that. The marriage has to something both partners are pleased with and proud of, enough to let the community know.
What are Desirable Traits in a prospective Spouse
I know its sounds like a burden, but thats how we are. Women will look for someone who is strong, phsysically and emotionally. We can sense some who has an inferiority complex a mile away. So guys, if you want to be attractable, please be confident. Confident in who you are and what you can do. Do not make excuses for yourself, or defend yourself. Oh my God, this is the worst one. A defensive man. No, we dont want to see that, because then all we see is a weakness from them. The weakness of not being able to handle criticism. A real man is the one that can take the heat someone gives him. Who can withstand social rejection. One who can stand firm on his two feet, without bieng pushed side to side. One who can brush off any petty comments or critical judgements thrown at him.
In my mind, when a group of people attack a person and the victim thinks nothing of it, their status raises in my mind. But when they begin to defend themselves and find excuses or try to make the other people like and accept them, I cannot think highly of them. If there are people who are against you, you might be doing something right and worthy of doing. Remember that. But if the masses are happy with you, be careful, you might not be doing something right.
Women aren't too big in the looks department when it comes to attraction. But it all depends on what they hear. They say the way to a woman's heart is through her ears. And the way to mans heart is through his stomach. I dont know if thats true on the mans part, but I do know for a fact that a women can be swept off their two feet, with words and tone. Seriously, even if he had to be paperbagged.
So if the men want to their wives to be happy with them, say beautiful things to her, talk to her in way that would make her fall head over heels for you.
What Men Need to Work On
But it wouldn't hurt if the man took care of his appearance as well, you know? I mean we do have eyes to see with and we can at least look at something attractive in our marriage. Your the only man were permitted to see, so make us smile! Two things men need to work on, the gut and the balding head. We love hair we really do. It makes someone look attractive, very apealing. So if someone's losing their precious hair, check out if there are islamically permissible treatments for that. We all enjoy a lush head of hair. Trust me, hair is very important when it comes to looks.
For the gut, if you cant let go of those delicious meals please head to the gym. Once a week or something. Its not fair that the pressure is on women to look great. It must go both ways.
What Women Need to Work On
Women also need to work on few things too. Weight is definetly one them. Sometimes we just want to let it all go. You know? Couple of icecream jugs and were finished. They are delicious I cant lie. But we need to workout too. Hey we are gorgeous creatures, Allah put in us a beauty that is so irrisitible that it cannot go uncovered. Think about that for one.This beauty is gift and a responsibility. Protect it from anyone else other than your husband. Yeah your family sees you, but that privately beuatiful part of you is for no one but him. Doesnt he feel special :)
So girls, get dolled up. For him I mean, no one else deserves to see you like that. If you gaining weight, please excercise or go eeasy on what you eat. I dont condone dating. But there's an interesting saying. Uk people might get it. Its goes, "Whats the difference between a girlfriend and you wife..? Its 60 pounds.
Yeah, women might get so busy after getting married that they gain pounds, but try to go back to how you were before, when you enchanted him with your beauty the first time you got married.
Proposals
These are serious. They are not to played with. If someone recieves a proposal they should atleast the common courtesy to respond with an "Im interesed" or "Im not interested" via whatever method it came to them. Do not expect the proposer to wait patiently for years for your answer. No more than 4 months is acceptable. Anymore and the proposer will find someone else becuase they will take that silence from you as a "No Thanks"If you are interested let them know without being ambigious. Be straight up. There's no harm in asking a few questions, you know?
Dowry
I believe the lesser it is the more Barakah. Couple thousands isnt too bad. But if given at the begginning would better than waiting for it for years. Upfront and ready is great. I dont know if the people would accept that as a proper amount, but let them think what they want. A few thousands would work for me.
A place of Living
Mansions and fancy homes are not necessary. A one bedroom flat is great. So long as their a roof over your head and some warmth everythings great. I know Im a bit strange, but hey. Lets all take from the lifestyle of Rasullallah saw. He slept on a straw mat stuffed with palm fibres, and when he woke there would be marks on his back. Now if he didnt sleep on a Queen Sized Bed,why are we all insisisting on having these furnishing? I tell you, sleeping on the ground does more good for your back then one of them cushiony mattresses. Try it, you'll find yourself walking with such an awesome posture. The more humble one lives the better. If we follow the way of Rasulallah (saw) where on the right way.
To be continued Insha Allah
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